You Are Old, Father William

5"In my youth," Father William replied to his son,

6"I feared it might injure the brain;

7But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,

8Why, I do it again and again."

9"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,

10And you have grown must uncommonly fat;

11Yet you turned back a somersault in at the door —

12Pray, what is the reason of that?"

13"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his gray locks,

14"I kep all my limbs very supple

15By the use of this ointment — one shilling a box —

16Allow me to sell you a couple."

17"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak

18For anything tougher than suet;

19Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak —

20Pray, how did you manage to do it?"

21"In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law,

22And argued each case with my wife;

23And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,

24Has lasted the rest of my life."

25"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose

26That your eyes was as steady as ever;

27Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose —

28What made you so awfully clever?"

29"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"

30Said his father; "don't give yourself airs!

31Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?

32Be off, or I'll kick you downstairs!"